Who We Are in the Dark and Whose We Are by Jo Beth

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22: 37-39

“For nothing is hidden that will not be disclosed, nor is anything secret that will not become known and come to light.” Luke 8:17

A coach once impressed upon my teammates and me that “Character is who you are when no one is watching.” Often attributed to legendary basketball coach John Wooden, it’s also a close approximation of Dwight L. Moody’s quote, “Character is what you are in the dark.” The meaning is the same—our inner self is most authentically revealed when we aren’t performing for others.

This echoes Jesus’ direction in Matthew 6:5-15 when he implores his followers to avoid a performative form of faith: “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others.” I don’t think Jesus was saying never to pray in front of others, or in public; but he was saying that we need to question our motives for doing so. What we do when people are watching needs to align with who we are when no one is watching.

Prior to the internet, humans largely had two spaces to demonstrate their character: in the company of others, or when they were alone. Now, there’s a third space: online. What we post (or repost), the comments we make (or like, or love), the things we encourage, or laugh at… other people see these actions, and when they know that we claim the name of Jesus, they also see the alignment with or yawning gaps between how we treat others and whose we say we are. Even when we think we aren’t known to those seeing our online behaviors, we should remember that what we do in these spaces is not hidden from God.

So I wonder how Jesus would have us engage in the online space. Obviously, the Bible didn’t cover the topic of social media. But we were told to love our neighbor as ourselves; I don’t want people to be dismissive or cruel to me or those I love, so I should not be these to others. We were told that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23), so my words and presence in the social media space should reflect these characteristics, and seek to build others up, rather than to tear them down.

What other scriptures or wisdom could help guide us as Christians as we engage with the broader world, and with the Wild West of social media? How can we bring into greater alignment who we are in the dark, and whose we are?